FICTION
Infinity, Infinity, and a Palm Tree (novelette)
If you are a spirited visionary or would like to be one, this epic love story will take you on a rollercoaster ride of time travel through different reincarnations, using an ordinary person’s past lives regression sessions as a vehicle.
Infinity, Infinity, and A Palm Tree is a fascinating spiritual journey of love, resilience, and self-discovery that will:
• Make you laugh and cry.
• Shock you and challenge your sexual orientation.
• Restore your beliefs in miracles and true romance.
• Force you to question and appreciate what you have even MORE.
This is not a long novel full of detailed depictions of landscapes and objects. It is a fast-paced, concise story that is presented to you in hopes of inspiring and spiritually awakening you.
PROLOGUE From Lara
Do you believe in love at first sight? I used to, but now I am aware of the true nature of this phenomenon. It is not falling for someone new on the spot–it is recognizing a loved one from your past life.
Time slows down, and the world seems to fall away. Your hands are sweaty and shaking, and you want to burst into tears. You feel your heart in your throat, beating too loud and too fast, and you desperately need to touch this person to accept that they are for real.
Now, here is the “onion” (a metaphor for a story with multiple layers that need to be peeled away to get to the heart of it): that is how my future husband felt when he saw me for the first time. He looked like he had been struck by lightning or had seen a ghost, and he is not even the spiritual one in our family.
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After seeing several of my past and future lives, I finally understand the mechanics of being reincarnated: possessing the same soul every time, but always (understandably) given a different body, and (surprisingly) a different spirit to help you achieve your potential. I am grateful to my current life’s Spirit for carrying me through all my heartbreaks, disappointments, and obstacles; for not allowing me to give up on myself; for bringing into my life so many amazingly beautiful (inside and out) people who help me or accept my help; and for giving me the opportunity to survive, stay positive, and feel loved just for being me.
EPILOGUE From Lara
A lot of loose ends need to be tied up for my story to have closure. The lessons I learned through my past lives have helped me to break free from my childhood trauma, changing my brain chemistry so that I could embrace the world and the freedom of being me, and could feel safe and loved without any limitations or conditions. Isn’t this what all of us truly want for ourselves and our families at the end of the day–to feel safe and loved?
Here are a few of the concepts I have discovered on the journey through this lifetime so far:
It is very liberating to stop loving people who hurt you, but it is even more liberating to stop hating them.
I was born in Russia but by now, I have lived half of my life in America. I love my adopted country fully and unquestioningly for embracing me; giving me a sense of safety, fair treatment, respect, education, purpose, fulfillment, appreciation; and for introducing me to the spiritual love that is vibrating inside of me like a flow of positive energy. This said, there is always pain in a corner of my heart and some yearning for that faraway country where I spent thirty years of my life, for my beautiful friends and their amazing kids, for their safety and well-being. They are always in my thoughts.
Now, close your eyes and imagine that in your next life, you will be born among your adversaries–just like I, an American in a past life, was born in Russia in this one. How does it make you feel? With my current life’s parents and my native country, I chose to stop loving them instead of hating them. I am not stating that we need to forgive the tormentors or invaders. All I am saying is that we can stand for what is right and fight against evil better if our minds are not clouded by hatred. Hate, even when righteous, makes it harder to accept the divine presence inside each one of us. It also has the power to destroy us from within.
The finality of death is worth postponing, and the miracle of love is worth waiting for.
I loved my parents and my motherland with all my heart! And yet they broke it, together with my trust, so many times and in so many ways that I considered ending my life several times because of the unbearable pain they caused me. Then, I was disappointed in affection and passion for men; I felt used and not worthy. It was only in my late twenties, when I met my soulmate, that I was able to change the way I felt about myself. His love in this life saved me in a different way from our previous lives’ encounters.
Happy ending? Not so fast! It is tough to stay true to yourself and preserve your relationship over many years of living together. My idol, Freddie Mercury, was right again, explaining all the challenges of staying in love with your true partner in his song “It’s a Hard Life.” It is not easy to learn to understand, support, take care of, trust, respect, accept, help, and stand by the person you love till death do you part.
To be loved and understood, you need to learn to love yourself. You are a divine art.
I imagine that my broken heart now looks like Kintsugi: a piece of pottery art that Japanese culture celebrates as a representation of flaws and missteps of life. It is a way of bringing an optimistic view of the future: “to stay together and true to yourself” when everything falls apart around you. In my opinion, it gives a new definition to the phrase “heart of gold.”
For example, my heart feels like a broken ceramic amphora that was restored with gold bindings, making it into art. I am a masterpiece, as a result. We all are–one of a kind; but at the same time, maybe we all are the fragments or sparkles of the Whole/Universe/ Dark Matter/Infinity/God. Our life experiences mold us into something new that is more beautiful and exuberant than we were before. They are not supposed to break us beyond repair. This is the main purpose of our reincarnations–to learn and grow through the pains of each life.
All this wisdom has already been voiced many times. By sharing my fable, I wanted to bring your attention to it again, using my ordinary person’s imperfect life to prove that:
• It is very liberating to stop loving, but it is even more liberating to stop hating.
• The finality of death is worth postponing, and the miracle of love is worth waiting for.
• You are a divine art–own it!
With an infinity of love truly yours,
The White Crow
San Francisco, California
September-December 2023